This study series by the SGI-USA Study Department aims to answer questions about the basics of Nichiren Buddhism.
Buddhism is not naïve—it does not deny the existence of “good” and “bad” friends. But it views these terms in a light that may surprise and even revolutionize one’s understanding of them. The real question for the Buddhist is: “Does this relationship help or hinder my progress toward lasting happiness—toward Buddhahood?”
Good friends in faith—those who support our inner transformation—are essential to Buddhist practice. But even challenging relationships can help us grow.
Shakyamuni Buddha once said, “Having good friends and advancing together with them is not half the Buddha way but all the Buddha way.”[1]
And Nichiren Daishonin reiterated this, writing:
The best way to attain Buddhahood is to encounter a good friend. How far can our own wisdom take us? If we have even enough wisdom to distinguish hot from cold, we should seek out a good friend.[2]
He also cautioned against negative influences, saying:
Evil companions are more numerous than the dust particles that comprise the land, while good friends are fewer than the specks of dirt one can pile on a fingernail.[3]
Here, “evil companions,” or bad friends, are those who expound false teachings and mislead people in connection with Buddhism or obstruct Buddhist practice.
Sure, those in our lives can function as bad friends in various ways. But even if we were to identify people as bad friends, that doesn’t mean avoiding them or cutting them off.
The truth is no one’s perfect—we all have moments when we impact those around us negatively. If we tried to sever every imperfect relationship, we’d wind up isolated and self-absorbed.
So, what makes someone a good friend in faith? Ikeda Sensei says:
Good friends function in various ways. They support Buddhist practitioners and enable them to practice with security and peace of mind. They strive alongside other practitioners and help one another improve their lives through mutual support and inspiration. And they teach others about the correct doctrines and principles of Buddhism and put them on the path to right action.[4]
Even Our ‘Enemies’ Can Be ‘Good Friends’
Taking this one step further, Buddhism teaches that how we perceive people is as important as their actions. Nichiren says:
Devadatta was the foremost good friend to the Thus Come One Shakyamuni. In this age as well, it is not one’s allies but one’s powerful enemies who assist one’s progress.[5]
In other words, even those who oppose us or cause us trouble can become “good friends” to us if their presence helps us deepen our faith and resolve.
In the end, we determine who becomes our good friends in faith. By chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, studying the Buddhist view of life and helping others more deeply connect to its practice and principles, we develop the wisdom to appreciate all our relationships and circumstances as opportunities to grow and reveal our Buddhahood.
The German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said:
It is a great folly to hope that [others] will harmonize with us. … For it is in conflict with natures opposed to [their] own that [human beings] must collect [their] strength to fight [their] way through; and thus all our different sides are brought out and developed, so that we soon feel ourselves a match for every foe.[6]
Even when our friends let us down or cause us pain, instead of running away from the situation, we can use our Buddhist practice to grow from it. From the Buddhist perspective, everything that happens in life has meaning. Relationships we might have discarded in the past can be transformed through Buddhist wisdom and courage.
Genuine friendship in Buddhism isn’t based on comfort or compatibility but on mutual growth and support toward a shared purpose. That’s why developing good friends in faith and striving to be one ourselves isn’t just part of the Buddha way, it is the whole of it.
—Prepared by the SGI-USA Study Department
July 18, 2025 World Tribune, p. 9
References
- The Wisdom for Creating Happiness and Peace, part 3, revised edition, p. 106. ↩︎
- “Three Tripitaka Masters Pray for Rain,” The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, vol. 1, p. 598. ↩︎
- Ibid. ↩︎
- The Wisdom for Creating Happiness and Peace, part 3, revised edition, p. 110. ↩︎
- “The Actions of the Votary of the Lotus Sutra,” WND-1, 770. ↩︎
- Johann Peter Eckermann, Conversations of Goethe with Johann Peter Eckermann, trans. John Oxenford, ed. J. K. Moorhead (New York: Da Capo Press, 1998), p. 59. ↩︎
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