You Have a Friend for Life

Genuine Buddhist dialogue is discussing such crucial matters as the true value of life and what is right and wrong, based on our daily lives and personal experiences. This is the ultimate practice of humanism, and this is propagating Buddhism. At the same time, propagating Nichiren Buddhism, which involves teaching others the most fundamental solution to sufferings, is the ultimate act of altruism, as well as the fastest way for us to do our human revolution and break out of the shell of our own ego.^[1]

Kosen-rufu is not some far-off ideal; it lives in the practice of creating opportunities to speak with people about the sacred potential that exists in their life—that they are worthy of the happiest and most beautiful life, no matter their current reality. In that context, we can ask ourselves, How determined am I to be this person’s friend for life and stick by their side no matter the ups and downs? 

In a time when divisiveness is all too pervasive, when people feel like they would rather shut down than express their honest feelings, we as SGI members can take the initiative to bridge any gap.

What’s more, our efforts to share Buddhism are actually for us to become the happiest people! It allows us to grow and deepen our humanity, becoming better friends, family members, co-workers and the list goes on. 

This applies not only to when we share Buddhism with our friends but also when we attend our monthly discussion meetings, where members and friends can refresh and share their joys and struggles, as we all strive to encourage one another to continue fulfilling our vow with Sensei.

And while we have a goal of introducing 10,000 youth to the SGI by January 2028, all the friendships we build are important in the light of Buddhism. In The New Human Revolution, Sensei shares his thoughts about creating friendship during his first trip to the U.S. (He appears in the novel as Shin’ichi Yamamoto.)

In Shin’ichi’s mind there was no wall separating the Soka Gakkai from society. In accord with the principle that “Buddhism manifests itself in society,” those who practice Buddhism should naturally yearn for the happiness of all people and peace throughout the world. 

Moreover, for example, a great mountain that rises from a broad base is not easily destroyed, whereas a sheer cliff is fragile and easily crumbles. To firmly establish kosen-rufu, the Soka Gakkai also needed to possess a solid base like that of a majestic mountain. 

Thus, support of people outside the organization—people from every walk of life—has been important. Shin’ichi was also keenly aware that the very presence of such friends would clearly attest to the validity of Nichiren Buddhism as a religion that exists for the people.^[2]

At our discussion meetings, friends in our community can feel the warmth of the SGI-USA family and learn how to win in life. By working to create genuine friends in our neighborhoods, places of work and in our daily interactions, we will make our communities shine brighter with the sun of Nichiren Buddhism, which enables all people to become Buddhas.

So, the question for these next two years becomes: How many people can I become a true friend to? How many people can say that I’m the type of person who always has their back? Whether or not they become a member is up to them, but it is our hope that as SGI members, we can be people in our community who others feel they can rely on and trust, and call their genuine friends. 

Let’s enjoy making new friends and continue treasuring existing ones for the rest of our lives! Thank you all very much!

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Making Time for Each Other 

Name: Hudson Chung // City: College Station, Texas 

Living Buddhism: We understand that two young men received the Gohonzon this year based on the friendships you built with them. Can you tell us about your experience? 

Hudson Chung: Yes, the first young man started coming to meetings to learn about Buddhism around last October. He enjoyed the meetings, but he was more interested in learning about Buddhism as a whole. He was trying different types of Buddhist practices at the same time. 

We decided to study the basics of Nichiren Buddhism together. Over many months, he’d come over for tea, and we’d hang out and have dinner together with my roommate. Although he was attending SGI meetings, it was in those smaller, informal gatherings that he opened up about his life and struggles. 

Opening up can be hard. What do you think allowed him to feel comfortable enough to do so?

Hudson: When it comes to developing genuine friendships, I think it’s important to open up first and share my own struggles and dreams. I think when I’m open, people open up much more than I expect. 

Beyond grabbing boba or meals, we often had “power hour” sessions at coffee shops, studying and working side by side. I also joined his running club and invited him to our district youth tennis hangout. Whenever I could, I offered him rides to different activities. One time, we drove together to the YMD general meeting in Dallas, which is about three hours away. During that trip, we had plenty of time to talk, and he opened up a lot. I think the important thing is to create time for the other person.

Your roommate also recently received the Gohonzon. Can you talk about that?

Hudson: We became roommates in July 2024. As a zone young men’s leader, I travel a lot. I’m gone almost every weekend. When we first became roommates, he asked a lot of questions about my practice. I, of course, answered all his questions. But I actually felt that it would be better for him to learn about Buddhism from others, so I invited him to meetings and created those opportunities. 

To support Soka 2030 as a Soka Group member, I have to be there by 7 a.m. Since we are two hours away, I leave my house by 5 a.m. It seems too early, but he wanted to come with me every time. At his first Soka 2030 meeting, he chanted an hour. Our members are so welcoming that he was able to talk to and get connected with different people. I really feel like he was introduced by everyone, not just me.

But for him to want to learn more, I’m sure he trusted you. What kind of efforts did you make when you were home?

Hudson: You are right. I had to be a good friend at home. Sharing Buddhism with others is a reminder that I have to keep challenging my human revolution so that people I introduce can understand the benefit of practicing Buddhism through my life. 

I certainly wasn’t the perfect roommate. But to earn trust, as busy as I was with zone leadership and being a Ph.D. student, I made the time to hang out as roommates. In previous situations, I spent a lot of time in my room. But this year, I made a conscious decision to hang out with him and do simple things like watch TV and drink tea, which we do almost every night. To develop deeper friendship, you need to spend time together. 

I’m an introvert by nature, so it is part of my human revolution to challenge myself to be with others in situations that I could happily do alone.

We also heard that you create these kinds of friendships with the young men in your zone. Can you tell us about that?

Hudson: Sure. We go grocery shopping, to the batting cages, to baseball games. My favorite thing to do with young men is help them move because we get to spend all day together. I get a workout, and we are accomplishing something together. And in our downtime, we can have conversations. It’s in these interactions that we can discuss life and our daily struggles and challenges, and encourage each other. 

The two young men I supported in joining the SGI also have brought their friends to meetings. I believe that when there are strong ties of friendship in the SGI, naturally people want to bring their friends, too.

Where did you learn that spirit?

Hudson: When I was in college, I had a young men’s leader who did whatever he could to encourage me. We’d go for a movie, a walk or a hike. We were both so busy, but he made time for me. I still think about his efforts even now. 

What do you hope for the future?

Hudson: I’m determined to help another friend receive the Gohonzon by September because I’ve grown so much from supporting my friends. They also support me. 

For example, one day, I was rushing to work and was going to leave without doing a proper gongyo. But then my roommate asked if we could do morning gongyo together. I was like, sure, why not. We ended up doing gongyo and chanting 20 minutes together. I can really see the difference in his life from before he started practicing until now. I want to support more people to experience this kind of transformation through Buddhist practice.  

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Being a Good Friend No Matter What

Name: Kirby // City: Minneapolis, Minnesota 

Living Buddhism: Hi Kirby, thanks for sharing your journey with us today. How were you introduced to Buddhism?

Kirby: It’s been a 10-year journey. I was first introduced to Buddhism in middle school by my friend Ally. We were in homeroom together and stayed friends throughout that time. She brought me to my first meeting in middle school and again in early high school. I connected with the philosophy right away and continued believing in it.

Though Ally and I had mutual friends, we eventually lost touch. Then in 2020, just before the pandemic, I was going through a difficult time and remembered the practice. I reached out to the local SGI-USA center, mentioning that Ally had introduced me years ago. They knew her—and that’s how we reconnected!

Did you start attending meetings?

Kirby: Actually, it was really hard to attend meetings because of the pandemic. I was chanting a bit by myself but was having a hard time maintaining any sort of consistency. But Ally was super helpful.

I had a lot of anxiety about even attending Zoom meetings, and when we started having in-person meetings again, I had anxiety about going and talking to people. Ally was super supportive in every way possible. From 2020 to 2023, I was on and off with the practice and went through periods of being really stressed about it. But Ally kept reaching out to me. Even when I bailed, she would reach out. Occasionally, after not responding for months, I’d tell her to please keep reaching out, and she would, without question.

What did the support from Ally look like?

Kirby: She offered to pick me up or do anything that would help ease my anxiety. She almost intuitively knew the things I might need. And when she reached out it was always without pressure, like, “We’d love to have you here if you can make it.” It meant a lot to know that she still cared even if I wasn’t in a place to reply or engage. 

Thank you for sharing. Your experience shows why it’s important that we don’t give up on people when they aren’t responding.

Kirby: So many reasons can stop someone from responding. For me, I wasn’t chanting as much as I wanted and was ashamed of where I was in my ability to show up for others in the practice. 

Often, when people stop responding, the other person stops reaching out. But that’s a hard, isolating feeling. Knowing that Ally still cared and wanted me to be there even after all that time was important.

It meant a lot that she connected to me where I was and was a really good friend no matter what. Her life state spoke for itself. That was a huge reason why I continued to be encouraged by Ally. 

And then eventually I had a shift in what consistency meant to me. It had been 10 years since I had first been introduced, and while I wasn’t chanting consistently, I always ended up coming back to this. 

Thank you for sharing that. You eventually decided to receive the Gohonzon and join the SGI. What was the catalyst for that?

Kirby: In July 2023, there was a youth friendship gathering. By that point, my life had come undone. I was going through a breakup with a partner that I owned a house with and moved back in with my parents. But poison turned into medicine. That obstacle created the biggest successes in my life. 

Because it was such a difficult time, I was really set up to dive into my practice. At the friendship gathering, someone shared an experience that I really resonated with. Soon after, Ally and I started studying together with others. I didn’t want to receive the Gohonzon until I learned gongyo, which seemed so daunting at the time, and I was really stressed about it! But then, a women’s division member just gave me the confidence to try and set a goal to learn gongyo by December of that year, and I did! 

I received the Gohonzon in December 2023, and it was such a special experience because it had been 10 years since I was introduced. Amazing benefits followed. 

Can you tell us about some of those benefits?

Kirby: The fall before I joined the SGI, I quit working at a coffee shop where I had been working for a decade. I hadn’t been confident in pursuing other things, but through chanting, I became more confident. Then I got a job as a line cook, which I was terrified about, but I knew I could do it because I had my Buddhist practice. Once I accomplished that, I realized I could do other things that I didn’t think I could do! So I started chanting to get into the music business. I applied to three jobs, and I got all three! Not only that, but I succeeded in all of them. I also graduated college in the fall, something I had been struggling to do for over 10 years. 

What gave you the confidence?

Kirby: Both chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and the SGI community. I chanted a lot with a women’s division member who lived in the area. And the positive energy—it’s not the kind of positive energy that is reductive, but one in which I could be honest about my struggles. That’s something I haven’t experienced anywhere else, but I experience it every time I walk into a Buddhist space. And of course, having Ally there was huge because I always felt comfortable talking to her even if I was scared to talk to other people.

My confidence continues to grow with the support of everyone. Everyone strives to believe in themselves and in one another, and that’s so encouraging.

And now you are supporting others as a district leader and as Byakuren.

Kirby: Yes. I was nervous at first, but it’s very encouraging to have the responsibility to grow your community. I was encouraged by the part in volume 1 of The New Human Revolution where Ikeda Sensei tells a new district leader who doesn’t have any members that he has to find people to support!

My previous roommate, who saw me at my worst and has seen me change a lot, recently came to an intro meeting. I’m really excited about that.

Byakuren has been really special. It’s been nice to have that accountability and responsibility to show up for others regardless of how I’m feeling. If I’m in a bad mood, I think: We’re going to go chant, and I’m doing this for everybody as much as I’m doing this for myself. And that’s been cool.

Do you have any determinations moving forward?

Kirby: I’ve been thinking about conviction a lot. I went to the SGI-USA Florida Nature and Culture Center recently, and we talked a lot about conviction. I’m also chanting for clarity about what my next steps in my career are because I’ve accomplished all of my work goals so far!

From the September 2025 Living Buddhism